Closing The Door
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Troy is frustrated when Britta becomes unwilling to start a real relationship with him, so Annie enacts a plan in which she and Troy pretend to get closer, hoping it will make Britta jealous enough to take him first. She even tells Jeff in advance so his jealousy can't interfere – but of course it's not that easy. Jeff/Annie, Britta/Troy, Annie/Troy friendship. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Annie wished she was surprised about this. She really did. But at least she knew what she was in for.

As she feared/expected, Britta and Troy had stalled because Britta's insecurities, inferiority complex, and fear of healthy relationships kept her from getting closer to him. Despite their fun adventures, she just wouldn't take the next step, although he was ready for them to officially be together.

Apparently it got pretty bad last night, and since it was now Saturday, Troy had been venting to Annie and Abed in the apartment. "I don't get it, guys!" he went on. "She gives me these long looks and glances that say she really likes me! But when I say anything about it, she says she doesn't know what I'm talking about! Like I'm reading into things!"

Oh yeah. There were also the uncomfortable parallels between Britta/Troy and a certain ex-lawyer/future hospital administrator. Annie had been prepared to have that rubbed in her face once Britta pulled a Jeff on Troy. It didn't make it easier to listen to, though.

"She even did it when she kissed me at the bar last night!" Troy continued. "I thought she was into it, but then she panicked like she…choked me with a bike chain or something! She just told me to be discreet and not tell anyone, like I would really…" To his credit, Troy realized where he went wrong there.

"Yeah. Um, you guys can do what Britta told me _not_ to do, right? But way better?" Abed and Annie nodded, which made Troy sigh in relief. "Good! Britta already said I'm too young and sweet for her. Being a secret-blabbing jerk might go too far to prove her wrong. Now I just gotta be five years older so our age difference isn't creepy anymore! So….let me know when time travel exists, okay?"

Annie sighed at the ironies and at Troy's strange/sad ramblings in general. Then Abed quietly said, "Don't worry, Troy's reached his limit for reminding you about you and Jeff. Normally there's a rule of three to this kind of gag. But he did it at least four or five times, so you're extra safe for a while."

"Gee, thanks Abed," Annie deadpanned. "Weird you only needed one reference, though."

"You're right," Abed realized, then came up with. "Britta's denying the Troy of it All. And Troy's tried everything short of singing in a skimpy Santa costume." With that, Abed looked relieved. "Phew, another classic running gag preserved."

"Hooray," Annie pretended to cheer, then focused back on Troy. If this had to remind her of the past, maybe she could pass on some survival tactics, at least.

"Troy, you know this has little to do with you. Britta's scared because of her own rotten love life. It's stopping her from seeing there's something, or someone, who could really make her happy and not abandon her," Annie assured. "I know you know that already. So don't take it personally, try not to lose faith in her, but don't let her off the hook when she really acts out. Just try not to embarrass her _too_ much in public. If it gets to that."

Some of this was stuff Annie wish she knew before, some of it was stuff she told herself now, and some of it was just wishful thinking. Back when she did more wishful thinking about Jeff, anyway. In any case, Troy seemed to take this to heart.

"Yeah, you're probably right. It's her hang-ups that are the problem, not me! I don't have to cry and make a scene about it….more than three times!" Well, Annie did it at least three major times in sophomore year, so they were at least even.

Troy kept looking on the bright side, adding, "And I still got a whole weekend to have fun before I try again! Unless she comes over and trusts me to be her boyfriend after all. Then it'd still be a fun weekend, but….it'd be gross to have you guys there." On that, Annie couldn't argue. Still, he continued, "But even if I can't get gross, I can take my mind off it with my two best friends."

On that, Annie had to nitpick a little. "Troy, hold on. I know you're upset, but don't demote Britta as your second best friend."

"Oh, she's not in the best friend race. She's in a best friend/girlfriend category that's just for her," Troy explained. "She needed her own category somehow! I can't give her an unfair advantage over the other non-Abeds! No matter how gross she may or may not get!"

"Okay, leaving that aside for more than a few reasons," Annie started before it hit her. "You're serious? Among the non-Abed people who are _just _your friends…._I'm _your best friend?"

"Of course!" Troy said as it if was the most obvious, true thing in the world.

But instead of elaborating, his attention span slipped and he said, "Ooh, wait, great weekend idea! We watch all nine Kickpuncher movies, that kills 18 hours of weekend right there! Then we'll get great Kickpuncher dreams for the next 14!"

"If we watch the director's cut of Kickpuncher Nein: They Punched Hitler's Kick, we'll kill 19 hours and dream for 16. If only to dream up far better time travel twists," Abed pointed out.

"Yes! Make sure we go back to dinosaur times first, k? I gotta see Kickpuncher out kick a t-rex once before I die!" Troy exclaimed. "Annie, you're gonna see it too, right?"

"Um, I kind of have work to do later," Annie hemmed and hawed. "But I can watch the first three this afternoon. That'd give me…..two hours of Kickpuncher time travel dreams?"

"Cool, that'd at least get you to colonial Williamsburg times! That's not bad, buddy!" Troy called back, which put Annie back in awe of what just happened.

Having friends for this long was still rare for Annie. But being called someone's best friend, in any way, no matter what the context, was unprecedented. And to have it come from Troy – the second great addiction of Annie's high school life – was astonishing.

Five years ago, anything remotely close to such affection from Troy would have made Annie even crazier. She would have killed for him just so he'd notice her – but back then, he never would have even if she did. Now he just casually called her a best friend like it was nothing. Like it was a given he cared for her that deeply.

To know someone she obsessed over so….wrongly could still do that, and care so much for her in any way – it felt like the greatest payoff imaginable. And made her feel hopeful, to her slight surprise.

Well, Annie hoped Britta finally saw what she could have in Troy soon. God, to think now she hoped another woman would do that. If this was high school and if Annie and Troy were closer – well, if Britta thought Annie stole guys she liked in Greendale, then –

Wait. That seemed relevant again all of a sudden. Very relevant indeed. In fact….

Annie soon recognized that as a best friend of Troy's, she had a responsibility to help him with Britta. Especially since she sucked at setting him up before. She let her jealousy and schoolgirl insanity drive her nuts when she 'helped' Troy on that date in freshman year. Then when she first set Britta and Troy up for lunch, Abed proved it was for selfish reasons that had little to do with Troy.

She really owed Troy some proper romantic help. She had to help him land the _real _woman of his dreams once and for all.

Perhaps there might well be a way to do that. And this time, it wouldn't be for deep down selfish reasons at all.

Annie fleshed it out in her head through most of the Kickpuncher 1 screening – then after somehow avoiding Troy's kicking practice, she brought it up with him. With that, the Kickpuncher weekend marathon ended 16 hours early.

Yet Annie did spend the next 13 hours selling Troy on the plan, getting Abed to see the plan could work, storyboarding the plan, going over each act of the plan, writing a script for the plan, and then rehearsing the plan. After six hours of plan-inspired dreams, the rehearsals and the script revisions took a good seven hours more.

The final plan that resulted may have been manipulative and a bit overboard. Troy certainly needed extra convincing to go through with it, and Annie admitted – if only to herself – that it might jerk Britta around _too_ much. And that kind of jerking around wasn't really like Annie – even if the voice in her head that sounded like Jeff said otherwise.

Yet there were still good reasons to go this route. Britta would be too scared and closed off to be reasoned with any other way – and anything smaller might only work for a few weeks. Annie wanted her ready to want Troy for good – and this was the only way she could see it happening.

By Monday morning, Annie had gotten Troy ready and willing, filled all potential plot holes to Abed's approval, and made sure she covered every possible detail. Except for the big one she would cover first thing that morning. Or whenever Jeff arrived to school.

Fortunately, he wasn't much later than usual – at least not to get to the library, where Annie was waiting for him. "Morning, Jeff," she started to break the ice.

"Morning. Um, quick question. Did you study so hard this weekend, you forgot the study room was in there?" Jeff asked while pointing to the study room Annie wasn't in. "Granted, I'm surprised it took you this long to make that mistake. Then if studying wasn't enough, you sat at the wrong table."

"That's not it, Jeff," Annie assured, ignoring her real sleepiness. "I told them I needed a private cramming session. But I'm mainly here to talk to you. To tell you something you can't tell anyone else. Especially Britta."

"It's cute you think that's _deterring _me from telling Britta. But go on, what do I not tell her?" Jeff teased, yet Annie stayed on script anyway.

"Me and Troy are starting a project today. A kind of play, really. One where….I pretend to fall in love with Troy again," Annie got to the point. At the least, it froze Jeff up.

"I'm not falling for him for real, remember that! I'm just going to pretend for a day or two. Or however long it takes to make Britta jealous. She's too scared to take the next step with Troy, but not if she thinks I'm taking _another_ man she likes! After some flirty banter, some touches, and maybe a near kiss, Britta will find her guts and tell Troy how she feels before I finally nab him! At least that's the plan," Annie hoped.

"_That's_ your plan," was all Jeff had at first. "How do you make up a plan like that, exactly?"

"It makes perfect sense, Jeff," Annie reviewed. "Britta won't let herself get closer to Troy. But there's no way she'd let anyone else do it, especially me. With my history of liking her old boyfriends, and me and Troy's special history together, this'll make total sense to her. Then she'll panic and make Troy her's before I can!"

"And what makes you think she will?" Jeff got out. "Maybe she'll just keep quiet and do nothing. Even if she isn't quiet, it's no guarantee she'll do something. I mean, you're no….serial killer. So maybe if you're what makes Troy happy, she'll stay back and spare him from her."

Okay, Annie could _not _let Jeff talk that much for the rest of this. She just couldn't. Not if he was being _that _painfully obvious.

Obviously she had to rush to the larger point faster. So she breezed by with, "I know that's a risk, but I've got it all worked out. And that's why I'm telling you all this. Because telling you so you don't ruin this is a _big _part of the plan."

"Oh, way to find me guilty already, pre-cog! You don't think I really-" Jeff started before Annie shut him down.

"Jeff, no. I don't want to hear you being jealous, or denying that you're jealous. That's the whole point," Annie laid down. "The only reason I'm telling you at all is so you _know _this means nothing. If I didn't, you'd go crazy and do something like let Leonard into the group to stop us!"

"Oh come on, I have a _little bit _of a soul left, thank you!" Jeff scoffed. "You think I'd be _that _desperate to stop something I don't care about?"

"The last time you were, you almost put the psycho who got us expelled and almost _killed _us in the study group. That says it all," Annie checkmated.

"He waited over a year to expel us. Give him that much," Jeff lamely defended.

"Like I said, I don't want to hear it," Annie repeated. "You tell yourself whatever lies you want about how you feel. But how you feel, or don't feel, is _not _going to ruin this for Troy. I won't let it. And since I'm only _pretending _to like Troy until Britta kisses him, you have no reason to say or do anything. Do you understand?"

"That's not the right word for it," Jeff stated. "You realize you're manipulating Britta into falling in love, right? Something she's not ready to do, or is capable of doing? And do you really think she'll buy Troy moving on like that? Her ego won't allow it, you know! And how'd you even get him to try?"

"I know Britta won't confess for the best reasons. But she has to take baby steps first. Once she lets Troy in before I do, the rest will come," Annie expressed her confidence. "And Troy can act the part like he acts in everything else with Abed! He'd better after a weekend of rehearsals, anyway. And Britta's probably looking for any excuse to think he's a jerk, so she'll buy it! But when we're done, he'll be totally devoted to Britta again _and _she'll want him to be, no problem!"

"Yeah, 'no problem' still isn't the right phrase here," Jeff insisted.

"Well, you need to pretend it is, okay?" Annie came back. "I'm sorry to be hard on you, Jeff. But if you keep quiet, let me do this and don't act jealous – or whatever you call it – this'll be over much faster! Then Troy will have Britta, I'll be unattached again, and you can pretend you didn't care all along. Okay?" When Jeff had no okay or anything else to say, she repeated "Okay?" in her maximum formidable tone.

"Okay, okay! You want to be paranoid for no reason, go right ahead! You'll get no argument from me," Jeff claimed. He was in full on denial mode and barely hiding it as well as he used to – which wasn't enough as it was – but at least she got a yes out of him.

"Good. Now we can both go in the study room. I'm going to start things off with Troy, as we planned because it's all fake. You can make one snide comment or two, just so Britta doesn't get suspicious, but that's it. Resolved?"

Jeff glared for a second, but then said "Resolved," and had his face go blank again. Annie would take that as a victory. In truth, it felt good to put Jeff in his place, and stop his nonsense before it started for once. Of course, there was still no guarantee she'd really stopped it, knowing him.

But that was the risk she had to take, and at the least, it stood a better chance of success now. With that final loose end taken care of, it was time to get to work. Troy's second best just-a-friend needed her, and it was time to start coming through for him.


	2. Chapter 2

Annie and Troy started off relatively small in the study room. Annie laughed extra hard at a few of his weird observations, while Troy really paid attention to Annie's study tips. And although they were sitting far apart, those stolen glances between them were obvious to Jeff and Britta, for different reasons.

They took the next step in class when they actually sat together. As planned, Annie let Troy borrow one of her pens, and was extra happy when Troy gave it back at the end, unlike Britta. In between, they 'accidentally' brushed their fingers together twice, and smiled at each other each chance they got. And when Annie dared to check Britta's reactions, she looked as suspicious as Annie hoped.

Britta confronted the both of them together before lunch, since she wasn't ready to deal with Troy one-on-one, like Annie figured. Thanks to their weekend of rehearsals, Troy told Britta that Annie helped him feel better without crying, or giving away anything.

They gave just enough away to make Britta much more suspicious, yet not enough that she had anything concrete to blow up over. But they kicked it up a notch when they sat next to each other at lunch and shared their food. Then Troy did some literal kicking when he talked about Kickpuncher – and pretended to get carried away enough to kick Annie under the table.

Annie played the part and yelled, grabbing her leg and holding it up while trying to rub the pain away. Yet a panicked Troy – a pretending to panic Troy, for once – kept apologizing and insisted on fixing it. To that end, he put Annie's leg on his lap and tried to rub her lower leg all better.

After a weekend of rehearsing this, neither Troy nor Annie would look weird about it – not on the outside and not as much on the inside. Plus it was done so fast that Jeff and Britta had no room to get in the way.

After the scripted few seconds of shock, Annie snapped out of it and told Troy it was okay. After a few scripted seconds of looking wowed, Troy calmed down and let Annie stand on her own. Yet he insisted on getting an ice pack, just in case, so Annie gave him a special smile – an all too familiar one to Jeff – and walked out of the lunch room with him.

When they were out of view, they looked back and saw the group – especially Jeff and Britta – talk about what happened. And on cue, Abed chimed in with his movie-based theories about friends like Troy and Annie finding each other. Once Jeff and Britta scowled and then pretended not to, Annie and Troy giggled and high fived quietly.

"This is perfect!" Annie cheered. "We could move the first near-kiss up to today, at this rate!"

"Are you sure we should?" Troy came down a bit. "You're really sure this won't make Britta too mad at me?" Annie sighed, knowing Troy still wasn't totally on board – perhaps for good reason – yet she still knew how to justify it to him. And herself too.

"I told you before, it's not like you're cheating on her. We're not _really_ kissing or flirting, and you can't cheat on someone who's doesn't want to be your girlfriend yet," Annie proved. "All I'm doing is helping you, so you don't bother her with things she can't deal with. That's what you tell her if she finds you alone," Annie instructed. "We went through this in yesterday's role playing, remember?"

"Yeah. You weren't as scary and super hot as Britta when she's angry, but yeah. Of course, who could be?" Troy commented.

"I tried my best, that's all I can do," Annie told them both. At least that reminded her there was no risk in her and Troy actually falling for each other. As long as Britta didn't know that, and as long as Jeff and Abed didn't slip up and give her hints, they'd be fine.

The second study session had Annie get up to help Troy with a problem. She bent down beside him – having made it _very _clear yesterday that Troy could only take a one second look at her chest. She wasn't baring any cleavage today, so that helped make this easier.

After Troy got his peek and solved the problem anyway, he joked he should roll up his sleeves and do this himself. To that end, he literally rolled up his sleeves, which made Annie laugh and let her pretend she discreetly ogled Troy's arms. They were impressive, but she'd seen bigger lately.

Speaking of which, Annie made sure to give a warning glance at Jeff when she returned to her seat. She did it quick enough so she wouldn't see how affected he was, or how much he was pretending not to be. But when the session was over, Annie stuck around and overheard Britta talking to Jeff when the others left.

"I'm saying this for the first and _only time _in my life, so don't you dare say anything," Britta warned, took a deep breath and ordered, "Control your woman, Winger!" then sounded like she was almost gagging at her sexism.

"Britta, although that'll hold a high place in my personal Perry Hall of Fame, I-" Jeff began before getting cut off.

"I said say nothing! No jokes, no annoying Annie denial! Just do the horrible sexist thing, okay?!" Britta boiled over, then Annie left in a hurry before she could catch her. She went through her next few classes by herself, then found out from Troy that Britta did confront him a while ago.

But as he explained it, he followed Annie's instructions and didn't break character. And since he didn't act mad at her, make a scene or directly attack her indecisions, Britta didn't press the issue. Yet according to Troy, she didn't pretend to act like she didn't care.

At least in these ways, Troy and Britta really weren't Annie and Jeff. Yet Annie didn't want to think about how good or bad it made her feel. Things were going way too well for that.

Clearly they were on the right track, as Britta might face her feelings before it was too late – or appeared to be. To show her mercy, Troy and Annie didn't almost kiss, and only touched each other a few more times before the day was over.

Annie celebrated with Troy and Abed outside, once they made sure Britta wasn't looking. She let Troy leave with Abed, promising to wait until after dinner to review tomorrow's schedule. Troy thanked her again and even hugged her, in case Britta was watching – his words/possible joke. But once the dynamic duo left, it was Jeff who found Annie instead.

"So, Madam puppet master, how's the string pulling going?" Jeff started out.

"They're not breaking yet. In fact, I might only have to pull for another day or two," Annie informed.

"Another _day_? Or _two?_" Jeff repeated with more disbelief. "Come on, I love torturing Britta as much as the next guy, but that's just overkill. Just let her apologize to Troy for whatever she did, that should be enough."

"Jeff, I know this is cruel and immature, I know that," Annie assured. "If there was _any _other way to make Britta commit to Troy for good, I'd do it! I hate that there isn't! But nothing else would make her brave enough, believe me. I'll let her torture me all she wants later, but if she tortures me with Troy, it'll all be worth it."

"Why?" Jeff simply asked. "Why do you care so much if she does? And don't give me the old, 'Oh, Jeff's too cool to care, what does he know?' line, no matter how cool I am. Why is it _this _important to you that they get together?"

Annie knew she had to tread carefully, yet she stuck to her talking points. "I'm Troy's best friend other than Abed. He told me himself on Saturday. And as his almost best-friend, I want him to be happy with someone he loves. I've sucked at matchmaking for him before….and at other romantic stuff involving him….so I want to get it right this time."

"Is that right?" Jeff said curiously. "You did this _right_ after he called you a best friend? And it inspired you to make up _this _kind of plan? Because you wanted to make up for _your _romantic past with him? Curious."

"Jeff, I don't need you to nitpick this, remember?" Annie recalled.

"You said don't complain in front of Britta or the group. Well, I didn't, did I?" Jeff illuminated. "You said nothing about questioning you when we're all alone."

"Okay, I'm saying it now, no more questions," Annie deflected. "Just let the ends justify the means a while longer, and it'll be over soon," she insisted to them both.

"What'll be over, exactly?" Jeff followed along. "Your plan to make me…._think_ I'm jealous? Or to get Troy after all and get over me? I can't decide which one it is yet, but it'll come to me!"

It took everything Annie had not to scream at him. But she did get angry enough to stop Jeff in his tracks. "Jeff, what the _hell_ is your problem?!" she all but growled. "I'm being crappy right now, I know, but not _that _crappy!"

"No, just selfish. Like I said all those years ago, you're just as selfish as me. But now you're really getting good at it, so kudos," Jeff congratulated.

"I don't want kudos, I want the truth!" Annie demanded. "Or at least what you _think _the truth is!" she lowered her expectations.

"Fine, since you claim you don't know it, I'll fill you in," Jeff promised. "You think I don't know how….familiar Britta and Troy look right now?! If I noticed, of course you did too! And of course, when she got scared and backed off for _very _logical reasons, you couldn't accept it! Especially since she did it to your _first _great love! Who's now your best friend, apparently!"

"I said I was _his _best friend! Please get your facts straight!" Annie tried to counter.

"I have the facts now, baby. Like how Troy reminded you of when someone other than Abed was obsessed with him! When you idolized someone other than me! Since both of those events didn't work out, and his saga with Britta made it worse, you decided to rewrite history." Jeff set up as he went into full on lawyering.

"When Troy reminded you how much you used to love him, and how much you just like him now, it made you sad. It made you wish you two had that kind of connection in high school….and maybe in Greendale. If you did, maybe you wouldn't have to see _one _old cynic and young dreamer pair make it work! So you put together a no-lose plan!" Jeff accused.

"You're losing I.Q. points with this conspiracy theory, Jeff!" Annie shot back.

"It's conspiracy fact, and here's why!" Jeff finally started explaining. "Sure, if your plan got Troy and Britta together, then good for them. But if it didn't, you had two other backup goals. Either it'd make _me_ jealous and snatch _you _up, or you could comfort Troy and get him for real as a second choice. Either way, one of your long time romantic goals is accomplished, and you win. Even if 'Tritta' loses!"

Annie was briefly thrown off by Jeff dubbing Troy and Britta 'Tritta.' Then she got back to being utterly furious at him. "I told you everything so you _wouldn't _get jealous! How the hell do you ignore that?!"

"Why did you even have to tell me? You could have kept quiet and it would have worked much better! If I acted out because I didn't know, and I accused you of making me jealous, you could just use my jealous history against me! Then Britta would _never_ believe you were faking it with Troy! Then she'd take him back much quicker, and you'd lose Troy a lot faster!" Jeff laid out. "But you passed that up, and now we're both still on your hook!"

"So you admit you have a jealous history with me?" Annie chose to focus on – for deflection if nothing else.

"You know, it's rude to ask a question before answering one," Jeff answered instead. "I'm the one interrogating you. So you have to answer my charges first."

"No matter how paranoid they are?" Annie replied.

"Oh, are they?" Jeff retorted. "Don't tell me you felt _nothing _around Troy. Not one part of you still wants to kiss him at all? After being that Troy-crazy, is a few years _that _long enough to close the door for you? Especially when he massages that good?"

Jeff left that hanging as Annie took this in without a word. After enough time, he then added, "Especially since it'd hurt the one woman in the group who _actually _got to sleep with me? But if she used that hurt to get Troy back, at least I'd be your consolation prize."

"Okay, so now I'm back to being Jeff-crazy again, is that it?" Annie got back into the fight.

"Well, come on. Did you think I wouldn't react, no matter what you told me?" Jeff commented. "Even if I ruined your plan, you really didn't hope I'd get jealous enough to take you then and there? Even if Britta didn't do the same with Troy? It wouldn't matter if she did, would it? You get a prize either way, and that's what counts."

"Jeff, you're out of your mind!" Annie exclaimed. "I set them up at the three-hour lunch because I thought I'd get you as a bonus! But that's not it this time!"

Yet by just admitting that to him, and admitting it out loud to herself outside of the Dreamatorium, it threw off Annie's new momentum. It threw off Jeff a bit as well, but he recovered faster, now that he had a wide opening.

"And, um, if you did that once, you could do it again," Jeff rebounded. "Maybe since you told yourself that wasn't it, you hid it deep down. Maybe you really didn't know until now. But it all makes sense. Now more than ever."

"No it doesn't…." Annie said a little weaker.

"It does and you know it," Jeff moved for the kill. "You didn't do this for Britta and Troy. You did it for _you_. Or at least some part of you did, which still negates the selfless part. After the failures with both of us, and seeing Troy and Britta get closer than you ever got with me or him, that selfish part of you had to take action."

"You know that part's there, Annie," Jeff kept pushing. "You know what it's done to you before. And that 'best friend' line was all the pretext it needed to poison you again. Poison you into the dumbest, most illogical thing you've ever done! But if that's what it takes, it's worth it as long as you finally get one of your two dream guys, even if the losers suffer. It's right out of my own cold, black heart, so that's how you know I know. And how you know I'm right, too."

Annie wanted to keep yelling at him, but she couldn't. Jeff's natural lawyer skills, his reminders of the rotten past, and her knowledge of her deep down selfishness had gotten to her. For all the nonsense Jeff spouted, and for all the selfish reasons he was acting out, there were kernels of truth buried in there. And the more those kernels got stuck, the harder it was to pry them out.

It couldn't be true, because she was over Jeff and Troy! Well….she knew for a fact she was over Troy. But after all that time worshipping him, was it _impossible _she might have a relapse? Not to mention a Jeff relapse too?

Especially with the way Troy's 'best friend' comment made her feel when this all started? Especially when it made her feel stronger for Troy than she had in three years…minutes before she made this whole crazy plan….

That couldn't be why she did this. Neither could Jeff. They couldn't be her main reasons for any of this!

But could she say they weren't small reasons deep down? Knowing her own selfishness and past selfish patterns….could she?

"You're right," Annie said quietly. "There's a chance that's why I did this. It's not the main reason, but it could be one of them. If it is, that's reasonable doubt for my side. Which means part of me is being selfish after all."

"Ha, told you!" Jeff bragged. "You didn't have to make me drag it out with speeches, but luckily I like speeches! Now that that's settled, you can get all guilty about it, bury those shameful feelings deep down, and call off this whole plan. Even if they don't get together now, it'll be better than the alternative. You know that now."

Yet once Jeff said that, Annie suddenly knew a few more things. And a few new ways to feel about the other things she learned.

Sadly, Jeff would have gotten away with it if he knew when to stop talking. But despite his complaints about dragging things out, he still did it and ruined his case. Not completely, sadly. But enough for Annie to know what she had to do.

"No, Jeff," Annie started. "That's the difference between you and me. You bury and run away from things you hate about yourself. Or that you're too scared to face. But that's not me. If it was, I'd have stayed away from rehab like Mom wanted. So I'm not going to stay away from this."

"Okay, do I have to give those speeches again?" Jeff replied. "I can remember at least five of them, but-"

"Don't bother, Jeff, I know them all!" Annie ordered. "You might be right about me. No matter _why _you want to be right. But now I can face these problems head on, stop them from doing real damage, and salvage something good for people I care about."

"No matter how _much _you care about them?" Jeff still tried to needle.

"Yes, Jeff, that's it exactly!" Annie shut him up. "As long as there's still _any_ way to help Troy and Britta, I'm going to keep going. And if I do call it off, it won't be because you told me to! I might be as selfish as you, but I don't run from my issues like you too!" she told the both of them.

That was probably more than enough, so Annie wrapped up, "You can tell Britta you tried to control your woman now. After that, I think we both need a good night's sleep. Good night, Jeff."

Right after she walked away, Annie felt empowered for shooting Jeff down and facing her problems. Then she remembered she did have them. But she managed not to look visibly shaken until she reached her car.

Well, if part of her was trying to get Jeff, it really was stupid. Especially after the crap he pulled, just because he was too scared to say what really bothered him. Even if he let some of it slip anyway.

Yet despite his motives, he still made Anne realize something important. And it probably made the unconscious part of her that still loved Jeff love him even more. Of course it did.

It was bad enough the unconscious part who loved Troy might be coming back. Then again, the only real proof came from Jeff – a hardly unbiased source. But if there was even a chance, now Annie would have to be ready for it and keep it under control. And that was what she would do.

If these really were serious problems, she would stop them from ruining anything. She would power through them and do a good thing for her friends anyway, just like she told Jeff she would. Even if Jeff made it harder for her to follow the script – like he always did.

Not pining over Jeff anymore was supposed to make her stop scripting out life. Now she remembered how dangerous winging it could be. Winging….and of course she recognized the ironic pun in that phrase now. Perfect end to what was so close to being a perfect day.


	3. Chapter 3

Annie was less vocal in the meetings with Troy and Abed that night. It was partly from thinking about her battle with Jeff, and partly from being extra careful with Troy now.

Yet it did help her suggest they should take it down a notch tomorrow. After all, if they were just starting to like each other more now, it should make them more hesitant for a while. Maybe Britta would use that window of opportunity to talk to Troy and steal him back. It's not like they were making her think she had time to waste.

Making her_ think_ that. Annie hoped that was still her plan.

She lay awake in bed going over the plan and its ethics again – albeit a day or two late. It was telling that Abed didn't say it was out of character, since she had her share of destructive, manipulative plans before. All of which taught her a rough lesson about being selfish and controlling and childish.

Yet Annie had let this plan slide because it wasn't selfish. It wasn't about keeping friends or winning an election or competition. It was about trying to get her two dear friends together, while getting nothing for herself in return – which made the manipulation barely okay. But if Jeff was right and it was about her own desires, she'd have no excuses left.

She knew that consciously, she didn't do this to make Jeff want her. And she certainly didn't plan to make Troy fall for her and forget about Britta. That would be really stupid on Troy's part – and although he knew less about some things than others, he wasn't stupid.

So Jeff was really insulting him and his commitment to Britta as much as he was demeaning Annie. As much as Annie was insulting it by making it look like Troy could want anyone but Britta. But Annie didn't believe he could – right?

Even if Annie wanted to lure Troy deep down, she could never pull it off. He was unattainable all over again – except this time, he knew Annie existed and thought of her as a best friend. That made it even more painful – ironic!

It was all in Annie's head, she knew that. Besides, she'd been told she was quite capable of seeing things that weren't there. Being this close to Troy – closer than she'd ever been – was just bringing back memories of her old, dumb Troy fantasies. And it was right while her old, dumb fantasies of Jeff were being packed away, which was a deadly combination.

Yet that, in a way, was what Jeff had been telling her this afternoon. If he was right about that, then maybe he was right about….

Annie left those thoughts blank for the rest of the night. It would have easier if she slept through most of the night, but she couldn't have everything. But after years of sleepless nights studying, she had a tolerance for a lack of sleep.

She tried to keep the momentum going by following her script that morning. Annie and Troy exchanged their share of looks, smiles and moments at the study table and class, but they spaced them out more than yesterday. It gave the likes of Shirley and Pierce more time to question what was going on, yet Abed helped deflect them with movie parallels, and Annie and Troy had enough planned out responses for them.

Yet Britta didn't make any moves towards Troy, as she just sat there and tried to keep still. Her will power was indeed strong – damn her. If she was that determined to avoid facing her feelings, even now, this could drag out longer than Annie wanted. And right now, she just wanted it to end before she got more tangled up.

At that thought, she looked at Jeff and noticed him smirking at her. Like he knew he was being proven right and was just waiting for Annie to give up and admit it. Admit he was right – and give him less of a reason to examine himself.

If Jeff knew Annie's game deep down, or liked to think he did, then Annie knew Jeff's. Avoid and deflect by any means necessary. Which meant winning a game of wills, being proven right, and convincing himself he was too awesome to need love or honesty. As if Annie would give him love even with honesty now – or so she was telling herself.

As long as this dragged on, Jeff had all the time in the world to be proven right. So perhaps it was time to speed this along, and get through a big step without any more hiccups.

To that end, Annie pulled Troy aside before they reached the cafeteria and filled him in. "We're doing our first almost kiss in the afternoon study session. Today."

"But you said we didn't have to until tomorrow!" Troy said a bit too loud. "Didn't you read the script girl's notes that you wrote?"

"We both think we need to move this along," Annie stated. "We've done enough slow stuff for today. The faster we ramp this up, the faster Britta will only want _you_ to kiss her."

"Oh good! I'm glad I won't be the only one doing that anymore," Troy exclaimed. When Annie felt a bit annoyed at that, she knew she was making the right call to speed up.

The process started when they sat together at lunch again and ramped up their banter. They were almost thrown when Shirley finally questioned why Britta wasn't doing anything. Yet Britta just tossed out a few anti-religion statements as a distraction, which made Shirley ready to drop the Annie/Troy subject. So that both helped and hurt the cause – but at least Jeff was too busy pretending to play with his phone.

Since Britta still wasn't budging, the near-kiss would have to go on as planned. As such, when they returned to the study room that afternoon, Annie stated she would sit next to Troy and help him with his work. She took her chair away – from Jeff's left – and moved it to the corner of the table between Troy and Abed.

"Great, first you break up Troy and Britta, now it's Troy and A-bed?" Pierce remarked. "I thought I raised you better than that!"

"Oh please, you raise fake daughters worse than our oppressed migrant workers raise…" And right on cue, everyone else groaned before Britta could rant. Yet the way she stopped _before_ they groaned suggested that's just what she wanted – anything to change the subject.

Still, Annie changed it by 'accidentally' bumping Troy's hand while reaching for a pencil. As planned, they acted awkward and apologetic, then Annie smiled her special smile when Troy handed her the pencil himself. She tried not to let it get bigger when Troy smiled back, and thought she'd succeeded.

Judging by how Jeff buried his head into an actual book and not his phone, maybe she didn't. Now Annie didn't even want to look at Britta next. So she went back to studying quietly with Troy, waiting for the right time to start the real show.

The plan was once she said, "Oops, excuse me a minute," she would lean in and then Troy would lean way too close to hear her – close enough that their heads and lips would almost touch. Then after a few seconds of laughing it off and looking at each other's lips, they would shrug it off as if nothing happened. And if they had to, they'd do it a few more times until something finally gave.

But what if nothing gave? What if Britta wouldn't act until Annie 'accidentally' kissed Troy for real? Would it take _that _much for Britta to see the light – and if not, what would do it for her? Or Jeff? No, not Jeff!

Damn it, how did Annie put herself into these messes?

Whatever the answer was, she got herself in this anyway. And she promised Jeff and herself she would get out, no matter what she had to face. Now was as good a time to do it as any.

As she pretended to study, she tapped into her old lovesick feelings for Troy so she could face them once and for all. They were so strong and irrational back then, it would be quite a rush to be flooded with them again. Take on the last remnants of an old, ancient, five year old time where Annie was so different from today.

But so was Troy.

In fact, the Troy that Annie obsessed over five years ago, and even three years ago, was pretty much dead. The Troy who Annie loved wasn't a nerd, was still an athlete, was content to be nothing but popular, was far less mature and grown up in his own way, and didn't know Annie existed. The Troy that Annie had all those feelings for was no more – and he'd been replaced by something far better.

That probably made things worse, actually.

If Annie could be in love with a shallow, non-geeky, less sweet Troy, how much more could she feel for the far better version who cared about her? Who cared about a lot of things he didn't before? Who had integrity and loyalty and who loved someone that everyone else called the worst?

Who only did this because he was so desperate for Britta to let herself love him?

He only had eyes for Britta, and Annie was making him convince her he didn't. That sure helped her feel better.

But it was Britta's fault for being so scared! Didn't she know what she had in Troy, if she could just accept it? Even now, she was still trying to be cool and emotionless, as if this and him meant nothing!

Yet when Annie looked over, she saw Britta burying her face in her psych textbook – then glancing up at them with a rather vulnerable look. One that Annie had never seen from Britta before – but one she knew all too well.

This was the kind of scared look Annie had whenever she thought she would lose her friends. And it was a look Annie knew she had before both her father and mother left her. If Britta had that look, it meant they were really getting to her. It meant she really was afraid she was losing Troy.

It should have made Annie happy and relieved. But it also made her feel guilty, because Britta wasn't even close to losing Troy. If she only accepted how much Troy _didn't_ want to abandon her and make her feel like crap, they'd have gotten together long ago and Annie would never have done this. Yet it looked like it was getting through to Britta – just as it kept getting through to Annie that it was because of lies and tricks.

However, maybe this meant one more lie or trick would finish the job. Just one more of those, and Britta could finally overcome her fears and make Troy hers for real. If Annie could do that for them – for these people she loved and who she sadly manipulated – wasn't it worth it?

Even if they would have each other afterwards and Annie would have no one? When her own Britta was deeper in denial than ever before?

Ironically, the Britta-like voice in Annie's head who said she didn't need any man had been largely ignored. She must truly be the Britta of Annie's voices, indeed. Well, in any case, if this was going to happen, it might as well happen now.

"Oops, excuse me a minute," Annie said as planned. She leaned in a little close, then Troy said, "What?" leaned in a lot closer to hear her and nearly butted their heads together. So far, so good.

But then the voices told Annie to do it. Just close the gap and kiss him. See what it's like at least once. Kiss someone she….had a past with once again – it had been too long since she did that, anyway. She was owed this, something, anything for all her heartache and heartbreak. She'd been patient long enough. She –

Heard Britta gasp in fear.

"I can't, I can't!" Annie heard herself say before turning away. After a second, she understood why.

This was exactly what Britta was so afraid of. Giving her heart to someone for real, only to have it crushed like this. And with her past, being crushed like this one more time – like she might be a second away from feeling – could destroy her.

Even feeling it now didn't guarantee she would go for Troy, as she could just run further away to never feel that raw pain again. Raw pain that Annie made possible.

And Annie made her feel that as a cruel way to teach her a lesson. And she made Troy do it too. All for some misguided idea, or some other selfish reason. She was so anxious to help them, she let some really rotten ends justify the means – which tended to happen more than she liked to admit.

If she was really so smart, why did she keep coming up with flawed plans like this? Even when she saw the flaws in this one from the start, she still kept going until she almost broke someone's heart.

If Britta could feel that, what about…..no, she couldn't go there yet.

Still, Annie had to look up sometime, and she couldn't look at Troy or Britta. So she glanced up at Jeff – who gave her a private, cocky smile, knowing she had been undone.

That little….well, she'd deal with him later. First things first.

She used her rapid-fire brain to reassess the situation, and how to slip out of it. Then she remembered saying "I can't!" when it looked like she would kiss Troy. And suddenly, she had her graceful exit – or the closest thing to it. It might even save Britta and Troy yet.

Annie took a breath and focused on Troy, needing to face him first before she could face Britta. After seeing his confused face and remembering all she'd realized about him, the words soon poured out of her.

"Troy, I'm sorry. Helping you lately, well, it made me remember how I once thought about you. So I wondered what it'd be like if we'd ever...I mean, it'd be simpler than liking who we like now! What wouldn't be?" Annie broke up with mockery, then got serious again.

"But I can't do it. You're not mine, and you never were, but that's okay. A part of me will always love you, but I like the way I love you now, not then. Now it's as one of the best friends I've ever had. And as someone I can't take away from who you do belong with. Okay?" Annie assured.

Since this was decidedly off script, Troy was still confused, but that did fit the improvised scene. So when Troy just said, "Okay….that's cool," it fit as a proper bit of closure.

With that, Annie got up to see Britta and her stunned, overwhelmed face. All she had to say for her, as genuinely as possible, was, "I'm so sorry, Britta."

Then she went to the front of the study table and saw Jeff, who wasn't smirking – but the memories of him smirking were still fresh. As was the aggravation he put her through yesterday, and the last three years in general.

But the sad part was that Annie couldn't have done what she just did without him. And after the new way she understood Britta and her fears, it had to apply to Jeff too. Whether this meant Annie loved him or should love him, she didn't know. She'd have plenty of time to go mad solving that later.

Yet it might be a good first step to offer an olive branch now – and it would help close out that little scene just now. So she simply said, "I'm sorry, Jeff," and bent down to kiss his cheek.

Maybe the kiss wasn't _completely _necessary. However, it would further convince Britta that she didn't want Troy, and give Jeff something to think over. Plus she was able to break after a second and walk out without looking back, instead of doing something more extreme. Annie could be proud of her self-control there, if nothing else.

However, because she kept her eyes closed and off Jeff the whole time, she didn't notice how Jeff reached out for her right as she walked away. Or how he left his arms up, frozen in shock with the rest of him, long after she left.

But everyone else in the group noticed. And it took the heat off the Troy/Britta/Annie drama for the time being. So at least _something _went right at the end.


	4. Chapter 4

Annie had never been more relieved she didn't share her afternoon classes with group members. She could regroup and keep her head down, except when she answered half the questions – which was still down from her usual 65 percent. But when classes were over, she couldn't leave Greendale, since then she'd have to go home.

Even if she didn't come home to see Troy crying in heartbreak, seeing him happy with Britta might not be a huge improvement. Not once she stopped being relieved and they got back to rubbing in Annie's failures with Jeff. And that kiss might have been a pretty big failure.

Whatever it all meant, she couldn't figure it out while she was near Troy, Britta or Jeff. Maybe she could sleep and study in the lounge area until things died down. Annie did manage to sit on the couch, study and nap for a while after class. Yet not long after waking up before sundown, she saw two of the three people she didn't want to see.

Well, since Britta and Troy were arriving together, that might be a good sign. And Troy's eyes were only semi-red from tears – even better.

But then he went into sad crying mode and declared, "I told her everything! Like two seconds after we got in the storage closest! You weren't there to keep me from spilling any longer! You weren't there!" he whispered out.

"Oh…..that's right, I wasn't," Annie barely muttered.

"Yeah, you missed a big show," Britta said, although at least it wasn't in a 'kill Annie' voice. "We had at it for about an hour or two. But it was the big, open, honest talk I guess you wanted us to do all along. Then after we got everything out there, we…..had at it in other ways for a bit. And now I'm one step away from going to Steppinwolf."

That was her way to get around saying she was his girlfriend. But Annie didn't care whatever code she used, as long as she translated it like that. "That's great!" Annie cheered, before guilt set in again. "But if you only did it because I almost kissed him, I guess it isn't. Because I wasn't really going to do it! And he didn't want me to!"

"I know. Trust me, I know everything about your little old scheme!" she added with a British accent that almost sounded Southern.

"That's not your accent for your Inspector Spacetime auditions, right?" Troy wondered. "Abed won't give you a good part with that, even with my casting pull! The best you'd get is some lame companion like Geneva!"

"Back off Geneva, okay?" Annie ordered. Yet her annoyance with Troy couldn't erase her nerves around Britta. "Britta, it wasn't his idea at all! I made up the whole thing! I thought it'd get you jealous enough to want Troy for good! I guess it worked, but that doesn't make it right. I shouldn't have manipulated you like that, or made him do it with me, and I'm sorry," she got out.

"You already said that before you…." Britta actually dropped it there and sat down next to Annie. Nevertheless, Annie got ready in case Britta moved to slap her.

Instead, Britta said, "I could explain how my issues, and how I'm not used to healthy relationships, made me scared to start one. Or even be in one, really. But I think you know about that stuff better than anyone. Yet you did this anyway." Annie silently and sadly agreed inside, but kept quiet for now.

"I did need a kick in the ass to make me get off it. And boy, you gave me one. You know how? As scared as I was to be with Troy, ruin it and get my heart broken….it was nothing compared to how scared I was when you almost kissed him. Okay, it was a hoax, but it was still scary! And honestly, I never want to be that scared again! But if I keep running from a good thing, I'll be that scared forever," Britta confessed, as Annie began to suspect she might not get slapped after all.

"Yeah, you pissed me off and I was a few seconds from dunking you in oil again. In a not hot way, mind you! And I _will_ give you two some payback later, you know! You don't lie and trick an emotionally fragile woman, and a friend, and not get revenged on!" Britta assured. "But it finally made me face and talk out a few things, and it didn't kill me after all. So I still have to thank you. I guess."

This was the best Annie had hoped for – and it still didn't make her completely better. "I'm really glad to hear that. But I'm still really sorry I did it that way. I hope I didn't force you into this before you're ready. I'd never forgive myself if I did."

"I don't know how ready I am. But I'll never be ready if I keep going it alone," Britta understood. "Maybe going through it with Troy's help will work better. Not much can work worse, right?"

"Well, if I did that much," Annie conceded, keeping her guilt to herself for now.

"Are you kidding? You even fooled me with that last speech! I swear we didn't plan it, she just improv'd it! I still don't know what movie she got it from!" Troy exclaimed. And therein lay the second nagging problem of the day.

"I didn't get it from a movie," Annie revealed. She thought about how to explain further, then started with, "You told her Jeff knew about this the whole time, right?"

"Yeah, he'll be properly 'thanked' for the heads up soon enough," Britta warned.

"Yeah, I was trying to make sure he didn't get in the way. Then he said I only did this to make him jealous. Or to live out my old fantasies with Troy one more time," she stated in Troy's direction. "He thought, or made it look like he thought, part of me still wanted you if you couldn't get Britta. Or if I couldn't get Jeff. For a while, I thought he was right. Maybe he was."

"Okay. If I'm doing the girlfriend thing, I should learn to fight the jealousy thing, right? Even if it's why I'm a girlfriend to begin with?" Britta asked herself, notably sitting on her own hands.

"Britta, don't worry! I took care of that already!" Annie promised, then went back to telling Troy why she had to.

"Troy, you didn't do anything. Well, then again, you kind of did," Annie recalled. "I did remember how I once thought about you, but that was before the plan! It was after you called me your best friend other than Abed and Britta. Then I came up with the plan a _minute _later to help you. Fancy that," she reflected.

"So it was just you being a weird best friend? Troy has that effect on people," Britta admitted.

"Well, that too. But I mean, I was so crazy about Troy back then. Then I just dropped it in an instant for Vaughn and Jeff. But I guess it was dumb to think it would totally go away," Annie conceded.

"Not that I thought I could really be with you!" she corrected to Troy. "It's just….with the way our lives have gone, and how close we are now, I guess I started thinking 'what if?' About how different things would have been if we _were_ together then. Or now. And I got screwed up thinking about it for a while. It's stupid, really."

Annie was set to leave it at that – until Troy added, "No, it's not." Just in case, Annie made sure Britta still sat on her hands before listening to Troy go on.

"You said it yourself, things would be easier if we were….that way. Not better, I never said better!" Troy preemptively told Britta, who just nodded and kept to herself. He then focused back on Annie and went on.

"But I've thought about that stuff too. Why wouldn't I? I mean, if I'd noticed you, I never would have let you get hooked on pills! At least I really hope not," he admitted. "But I _know _if we were friends back then, or anything else, you'd never let me get nervous and lose that scholarship! We could have gotten everything we wanted back then if we were together!"

"And then you wouldn't have met Abed. Or Britta. And I wouldn't have met everyone else, found real friends, or become a more complete person," Annie nitpicked. "And you wouldn't have found out who you really are, embraced your inner nerd, or become the _real _leader you are now. But we were so screwed up back then, we _couldn't _have done any of that together. So it'd have been the biggest mistake of our lives if we were."

"I guess. If we were who were were back then," Troy added. "But if I was like this back in high school, and you were who you are now…." he hesitated before completing, "Heck, you'd probably be my Abed in that world! Except we'd be naked a little more."

Annie blushed and tried to brush past that last part for Britta's sake. "Well, who knows? Maybe we're like that in one of Abed's timelines, so it balances out!"

"Not the evil one! You can't pull off a goatee in a mental institution! Not the way Abed tells it!" Troy randomly called out. At the least, it made them stop imagining that timeline in front of Britta.

"Anyway, Troy, it all worked out. You have Britta, I have a real life for the first time, and we're real friends now. I wouldn't change that, or how we got there, for anything," Annie assured.

"You're right. I still kind of wish I could change your pill part and get away with it," Troy conveyed. "I should wish that, right? I mean, I meant what I said on Saturday! You _are _the best not-Abed and not-Britta friend I have! And….I really wish I'd have done something for you back then like you did for me and Britta," he regretted.

"You did something _way _better than that. You let me live with you and Abed. You gave me your old room, and you let me live with a real family who loves me no matter what. I've never had any of that before. And I never would have if high school was different for us!" Annie almost teared up. "So _now_ we're even. Okay?"

This finally made Troy concede and nod his okay. Annie briefly thought about kissing his cheek as a final thank you, to come full circle. Yet when she thought about kissing him, she didn't feel anything at all. No anxiety, no anticipation, no flashbacks to the past – nothing.

But it did inspire Annie to just give him a hug as a thank you. And that was okay with her.

As Troy hugged her back, she finally felt herself closing the door of their past for good. Although her old feelings had first been buried years ago, now they were truly a part of her no more. On that realization, she gave him an extra big squeeze before breaking away.

Troy looked a little out of breath, but he chuckled and smiled anyway. As Annie smiled back, she realized this wasn't one of the fake long looks that they'd acted out this week. This was just a real, genuine long smile between dear friends who'd shared a meaningful moment.

Annie wasn't used to having moments like that – at least not without any tension or deeper meanings underneath. She wondered if she'd ever had those simple, pure moments with –

"Okay, I think that's settled, then," Britta interrupted. "Not because I'm jealous! But you two are setting the gooey, nauseating bar a little high. Hell, you looked almost as gooey as Annie and Jeff!"

Well, that was good to know.

Annie sighed and instantly lost her happy mood. "Right. There's that other problem left," she exclaimed. "Like there's any chance of solving that. He'll just stay in his apartment and run out the clock until this gets swept under the rug too. If it even affected him at all." Yet despite her uncertainty over how to feel about that, she noticed Troy and Britta were looking even more uneasy.

"You really didn't see what he did, did you?" Britta asked.

"The whole point was _not _to look at him! Then I could leave and get the last word! Why?" Annie asked curiously at the end.

"Oh, _that's _why you got away before he hugged you!" Troy realized.

"That wasn't a hug, Troy. He was a split second from grabbing her and tonguing her lungs out before she left! His arms stayed up for a whole minute and everything!" Britta informed.

"Oh," Annie exclaimed while she searched for another reaction. "Well, it was probably just another 'Man is evil' moment for him. He didn't drop an evil wheelchair guy, but other than that, it sounds about the same."

"On it's own, maybe. Not with the looks, though," Britta commented.

"What looks?"Annie wanted to know, forgetting she shouldn't care that much. But she did calm down a bit more to ask, "Britta, what do you know?"

"You know, I should be the one to leave you hanging, after what you pulled on me," Britta proclaimed. Annie sighed, knowing she probably had that coming. "But Troy wouldn't like me being mean to his best friends. So you're lucky I'm being a good girlfriend right off the bat," she let Annie off the hook, albeit with a teasing underlying tone.

It did reassure Annie that she and Britta would be okay again soon. As for her and Jeff, it seemed to be in Britta's hands now.

"I really didn't want to look at your heads touching. So I tried to look at anything else, and that turned out to be Jeff," Britta revealed. "When it looked like you might kiss Troy….he looked more nervous and scared than I've ever seen him. Worse when he ran out of hair gel and the store didn't have his regular brand! Maybe as worse as me!"

Annie searched for explanations to excuse that – anything other than what Britta might say – and came up with, "But now you know he knew I was acting. He was probably acting too, so no one would suspect he knew." She did know that was nonsense, since he hardly wanted to help Annie. Yet compared to the possible alternative….

"No, that makes it more incredible! I was so scared I'd lose Troy because I _didn't_ know it was an act! Jeff knew you were lying, but he_ still_ looked worse than me! And when you stopped, he looked more relieved than I've ever seen him. Of course when I noticed that, he tried to cover it up and smirked or something," Britta reminded.

A blown away Annie had only one way to discredit Britta's story now. "Did anyone else see it? If it was just you while you were panicking about Troy…." she left hanging to convey her doubt.

"No, it wasn't just her. Abed told us he saw it too. He even said Jeff looked worse than Britta when you almost kissed me," Troy confirmed. "Shirley said it too! Sure, they waited till Jeff left a few minutes after you did. But it still counts!"

It probably did. Goddamn it, it did. "What's that supposed to mean?" Annie wondered. "Okay, I know what it might mean! Probably does mean. But the only reason I can't believe it is….well, it's Jeff. And it's not like _he's _explaining himself!"

"Then I guess you'll need to confront him. We could use a quieter day tomorrow, so it should probably be tonight," Britta offered.

Annie's brain flashed back to all their past confrontations, and all the ways this one could go even worse. This made her complain, "Well, why do I have to make the first move? I did it before and he hurt me every time! Shouldn't he take the leap first? Britta, _you_ took the leap with Troy, so now he's even less evolved than _you_!"

"Huh. Maybe if you listened when I said that three years ago, it wouldn't be such a shock now," Britta dug in at Annie and Jeff.

"Britta, I don't think she needs to be shocked by your greatness right now," Troy warned.

"Fine, fine!" Britta huffed, although she lit up a little at the greatness part. She then got up and addressed Annie again. "Come on, if he's depressed and stuff tomorrow, I can't brag how I beat my fear of intimacy first! I'll have to wait until some other day after you two bang and make up."

"Britta!" Annie squeaked. "We can't even get on the same page to kiss, much less…._that_! For all those times I thought we were you and Troy….we're not. Otherwise we'd be together now, and we'd _both _want to be together. Maybe that's a sign it's not meant to be."

"You gave _me_ a lot of signs that some things weren't meant to be," Britta reminded. "But they were lies, just like Jeff's. And I gave Troy a lot of signs that I didn't want him. But they were lies too, just like Jeff's. The difference is, for all his years of lying, he's a lot worse at it than we are now. And you and me know him better than anyone, so it's even more obvious to us. Well, me anyway."

"It would be obvious to me if it wasn't for him!" Annie exclaimed. "I just don't want him to mess up my mind anymore."

"It seems impossible, I know. But it seemed impossible I'd let myself go all in with Troy. Technically, you never lost faith I could do that anyway," Britta pointed out. "Maybe having faith in something not-Jesusy _can_ pay off. Even if it takes a few years."

"What if I don't know how to use that faith anymore?" Annie wondered – all but conceding she still had it somewhere.

"Well, maybe _he_ doesn't need manipulation to get the message anymore," Britta actually gave Jeff credit. "Maybe for him, a big kick in the ass is knowing someone won't leave him. That even if he acts mean, nasty or emotionally brain dead, he really _can't_ drive someone away before they break his heart first. I couldn't, and look at me now."

Annie did look at Britta as she finally left with Troy. She also looked at Troy waving goodbye and promising to see her at home. Yet with the way she saw him gazing at Britta, it probably wouldn't be safe for Annie to be there if they were.

She then looked at the floor as she ran over everything one last time. Finally, she looked at her backpack – just to make sure she didn't forget it before she headed for her car. But she wouldn't be heading home, even if Troy and Britta weren't there.


	5. Chapter 5

Annie had it all worked out in her head when she got to Jeff's apartment room door. It was just a matter of being composed enough to do it. But when Jeff opened the door and Annie's face stayed still – unlike his – it was so far, so good.

"Can I come in?" Annie asked plainly. She asked calmly without pressing him, knowing there was a good chance he'd keep her out regardless. Yet without a word, Jeff stepped back and gave Annie room to enter.

Instead of talking right away, Annie went to the nearest table and put down her book bag. "Is it okay if I do my work in here?"she requested. "I don't know if I can go to my apartment right now. Unless Britta and Troy are getting physical at her place….but I'd rather not look for proof."

"Getting what?" Jeff snapped out of it. "You're telling me they're…." Annie nodded decisively, noting Jeff's legitimate shock. "They really did it?"

"It looked that way when they told me," Annie informed. "So just in case, I'm hiding out here. If it's okay with you."

"Is thatwhy you're here? Just to study?" Jeff dug into. Now it was Annie's time to actually do something right.

"Jeff, there's a lot more I want to do, you know that. But I'm not going to make you," Annie set up. "But I'm not going to hide from you either. What I want to do is stay here, do my work, and maybe relax and watch TV with you when I'm done. But I won't say anything. Not unless you want me to, or you want to say something first. I'm going at _your _own pace this time."

"What the heck for?" Jeff said, rather confused.

"You know, you're so convinced that I'll break your heart forever in the end, no matter what you do," Annie stated before sitting down.

"Those exact words never left my lips," Jeff defended.

"They didn't have to. In any case, if I didn't give up on Troy and Britta today, even after you screwed me up, I don't see me giving up on you. That strategy's already worked _once _against all odds today. But I'm not pushing it," Annie repeated.

"I'll be here for a few hours, and if you don't want to talk, that's fine. Maybe I'll come back when they use the apartment again, but I still won't say anything until you do. I won't be mad either way, though. Either way, I'm not forcing or tricking you to do anything, Jeff. And I won't abandon you, or let you push me away so I can't do it later. Not today, and not ever. But it's up to _you_ now."

There it was. No demands, no manipulation – at least as overt as usual – and no childish outbursts to make Jeff uncomfortable. He needed to know she wouldn't back down, but that she would give him room to make the next move without any trickery – and that either way, he wouldn't lose her.

She didn't have to scare him like she scared Britta this week. Maybe she did a year or two ago, but he wasn't that bad anymore, and Annie had a clear enough head to know that now. Hopefully Jeff could accept it too.

Either way, Annie had said her piece and would leave it there. She took out her textbooks to do her work, leaving Jeff to watch TV at a low volume. She actually did catch up on her schoolwork over the next hour, so that was an added bonus. But she needed to relax, so she quietly went to Jeff's couch when she was done.

Without a word, she watched TV with him, regardless of what he put on. There was tension from the silence, of course, yet Annie was hardly as nervous as she was hours ago. In fact, her words and tactics so far had almost made her calm, having done all she could do.

But there was one thing she had forgotten to do. Although part of it made her uneasy, she had to do it anyway.

"There's one thing I do need to say, Jeff," Annie started. "And that's thank you." Of course, she'd need to say more than one thing to properly explain.

"You weren't really trying to help me yesterday. But if you didn't say those things to me, I couldn't have done what I did today," Annie theorized. "I faced my selfishness and my old feelings, helped my friends, and grew up a little bit more. I still hate how you 'helped' me do it, but maybe I needed to hear that stuff. So I'm still giving you a _very_ qualified thank you."

Now that Annie gave Jeff his credit – no matter how accidental his help was – she really could have a clear conscience when she left. So she stayed content for the next few minutes and kept her focus on the TV – until Jeff actually did speak.

"You _bought _that?" Jeff got out, which threw Annie off a little.

"Well, yeah. Part of me was being selfish, I know that now," Annie admitted again.

"Jesus, you can't…." Jeff groaned, then made himself continue, "I said it to convince _me_, not you! You had to know that!"

Annie did know it, in fact. She didn't want to believe it in case she was wrong, and she had way too much to deal with already. But Jeff continued to look honest as he said, "Annie, you're the least selfish person I've ever met! Hell, you proved it today! You said you wouldn't stop until you got them together, and apparently you did! Even after all my lies!"

"There was still some truth in those lies," Annie conceded. "But I wouldn't have faced it and beat it if you didn't point it out. So even when you're being a jerk, you manage to help me. Sometimes I wish it wasn't like that, but life isn't a fairy tale. I learned that a lot earlier than some people think."

"Believe me, I know. Even if I made that hard to believe," Jeff admitted. After enough time went by, Jeff changed the subject by asking, "So….I guess you found out about Troy and Britta from Troy and Britta. Or just Troy?"

"Britta told me too. She told me some other stuff too, by the way," Annie informed and Jeff cringed, obviously knowing what that stuff was.

There was a lot Annie could ask about why Jeff looked so nervous, or even scared, when it looked like she might kiss Troy – despite knowing she was acting. But since there might be just one chance to get an honest answer, she settled on a really good question.

"Jeff, you knew my whole plan was an act, and you were terrified anyway! But if you didn't know, what would you have done? And don't just tell me what you think I want to hear. If you didn't know better and you thought I wanted Troy for real, what would you have done? Or what would you have _wanted _to do? Even if you don't think you could have done it?" Annie clarified.

Annie was taking a chance here, but she temporarily trusted Jeff to give a real answer. Even if he didn't, she couldn't let it affect her too much. The point was to stay by him and be patient, even if he went back into denial or said she was seeing things again.

Instead, he said, "What _would _I have done? I don't know. What would I have _wanted _to do? Everything I did to Britta on that table in paintball war 1. And then 10 times more than that."

Annie's throat caught and she didn't know if she'd ever stop turning red. Somehow, the next actual words out of her mouth were, "Even with the group there?"

"By that point, I'd have forgotten the group existed. That's how nuts fantasy me would have gone," Jeff admitted.

Annie looked away from Jeff so he couldn't see her go red – and maybe to avoid checking his eyes for lies. "Right, fantasy you," she repeated. "Not that I want _that _fantasy to come true! Not with people watching," she couldn't help but clarify, and now she _really _couldn't look at him.

After a while longer, she fully recouped and rationalized, "I get it, Jeff. If you can't have me, no one can, so that's why you'd have kissed me before Troy did. That's all."

"No, it's not! It's not even…." Annie heard Jeff sputter. "God, is there any way you can just _get _it without me….spelling it out? You can read subtlety, you're not a child anymore! I've been an adult a lot less than you have, so I'd know!"

"See, you spelled _that_ out and the world didn't end! Besides, _reading _things doesn't always work, remember?" Annie answered but caught herself, remembering she wasn't attacking him like that anymore.

"I know, okay? I know all of it! A lot of good it's doing me!" Jeff responded. "I mean, _Britta _just got her act together! _Britta_! So nothing should stop _me_ from doing what I want!"

"But something is, so what is it?" Annie tried to say steadily.

"You! Or at least the damn conscience you gave me!" Jeff let out. Annie finally turned to see him, and was startled how defeated he looked.

"That son of a bitch keeps telling me I shouldn't kiss you, or be with you, just because Britta got it right first. Of course, when I tell myself I want it for better reasons, my conscience sics that other stuff on me," Jeff confessed.

"Stuff like knowing that once I kiss you, I'm gonna want more than that, and not just the bed stuff. Or like knowing deep in my gut, I can't get all that the way I am now. And then those visions of me trying, me screwing up and then you never talking or smiling at me again….no matter how addicted I got to it….well, that's not a fun bonus."

God, it was actually working. Another half-baked Annie plan was working and he was admitting things! But like the last crazy plan, it looked like there'd be an asterisk to that success.

"Jeff, I just hinted I wouldn't do that to you," Annie reminded.

"And I just said I know! I know I want you and everything that comes with it! But there's still 35 years of garbage, fears and insecurities I _still _haven't cleared yet! Every time I think I want to try, I think about how I'd hurt _both _of us by the end, and I get blocked. Then I do dumb things like attack you and smirk at you and call you selfish and ignore you to stop feeling that bad! Or _as _bad, anyway," Jeff corrected. "It's so stupid, but that's just what I am!"

"Jeff…." Annie wished that wasn't all she had, but that's just what she was right now. Out of words after he sucked them dry.

"It makes no sense. We should be past this after almost four years. Hell, I should be past it after 35!" Jeff did the math. "You kicked me in the ass more than you kicked Britta today, but I'm not kissing you! Why is _she _brave enough and I'm not?"

"Because you're not Britta. And I'm not Troy, and the two of us aren't them. But that's not a bad thing," Annie said right as she realized it.

Now getting her words back, she continued, "They can go faster because that's the kind of people they are. They're impulsive, passionate, not afraid to embarrass themselves, and they're not afraid to get back up again when they do! That's their pace as individuals, and it'll be the same when they're together!"

"God, what have you unleashed on the world, Edison?" Jeff couldn't help but interrupt.

"Yeah, I know," Annie conceded, but forced herself back on point. "Anyway, that's who they are and it works for them! But it's not you and me, though. We're repressed, perfectionists in our own ways, uptight and rigid in our own ways, and we can't get out of our own heads long enough to just take a leap! Or be the kind of people we want to be!"

"But you're so much braver than I am, so that's where it all falls apart," Jeff pointed out.

"Maybe I'm brave enough to grow up faster than you," Annie teased. "But maybe you're starting to catch up to me after all."

"Maybe. Still doesn't change that much," Jeff sighed. "I've been working on this for a year. Two or three maybe. Even after the way you…..concerned me lately, that nonsense is still there. It might not stop me from _saying _things anymore. But _doing _things is still something else. And the stuff I _do_ do to you….it always makes me feel really sorry. Even if I can't say it directly. Like now for instance."

Annie let out a little smile and admitted, "Well, I'm that indirectly sorry too, so there you go." She then went on, "But that's more proof you've gotten through a lot of nonsense so far. Maybe you need help the last mile of the way," Annie offered. "And I'd like to think I'm an expert at facing nonsense by now."

"I can't ask that," Jeff backtracked. "You've waited way too long for me already. You shouldn't be the one adapting and changing for me. It just makes me more convinced I can't make it work."

"Jeff, you've adapted and changed for me first. More than I've given you credit for, it looks like. So I should do the same for you. And there's a huge difference between waiting and not knowing you want me, and waiting and knowing you do. That's all I ever wanted from you. After the schoolgirl fantasies died, anyway," Annie added.

"Going slow doesn't mean you're disappointing or hurting me. Not anymore, anyway. We're not quick fix, rush into things people like Britta and Troy. Maybe that's why we didn't work with them, or with each other right away. But now that I know how to be patient, or at least not to rush you more than I have to, then I can work with you. And not leave you, either," Annie tied together.

To tie things together more, she rubbed in, "And you_ know_ if there's _any _chance I can help someone, even in some crazy, stupid, plan, I won't stop no matter how dumb it is. Right?" She almost giggled, but her smile faded as she waited for Jeff to answer. He almost nodded for a second, yet no words came out.

Not until, "Annie, I'm going to ask you something I should have a long time ago." Her breath held from there before he added, "Will you go to therapy with me?"

Annie's first instinct was to be outraged, after getting her hopes up yet again. Her next instinct, when she actually thought about his offer, was to be flattered and moved. But when she finally visibly reacted, she used none of those instincts and found herself laughing.

"Jeff, you really are new at this!" she called out, but in an amused way. Just in case, she reassured, "I'm not making fun of you, I swear, of course I'll go! Only if you want me to! I just saw the funny side first, that's all!"

"Yeah, it's a hilarious way to woo someone isn't it?" Jeff commented, in a weird mix between bitterness and his usual, witty self. He sounded more normal when he went on, "Anyway, between the progress I make with my therapist and with you, putting you in the same room could be a killer combo. And if we both survive….maybe we could go to dinner to celebrate."

"Maybe," Annie said yet again. But between Jeff actually trusting her that much, Jeff asking her to dinner and everything else, she was running out of words again.

So Jeff continued with, "I know this is big by my standards. but it still isn't enough. You can't settle for the bare minimum from me! But I sure as hell know I'll never do more if I keep going it alone. And I can't do that anymore." Annie's déjà vu further flared as Jeff echoed, "Maybe doing it with your help will work better. Not much can work worse, right?"

"I guess we'll find out, Britta," Annie joked. Jeff groaned in more ways than one, but still looked pretty okay. In contrast, Annie was finally worn out.

"Jeff, there's still a lot we both have to go over. But I'm pretty tired right now. It's been a really long day, and it's been a really long last _four_ days too. You've been worn down for two yourself," she needled. "Right now, I just want to relax for once in my life. And I think the best way is to sit back, give my brain a rest, and do it with my best friend." She quickly saw her mistake and yelped, "_Relax_, I mean! That's the it!"

"Oh. Well, my guesses were way off," Jeff quipped, which made Annie both embarrassed and almost relieved. "In any case, that's something I want to do too." To make it as clear as he could, he sat closer to Annie, put his right arm on the couch behind her, and handed her the remote as well.

Annie flipped through the channels until she found something she liked, and that Jeff wouldn't totally trash. Even if he had some trash in reserve, he kept it to himself anyway. All he did was watch quietly – and comfortably – with her.

In Annie's fantasies about Troy, she never pictured them relaxing together – at least not without romantic cuddling and other over the moon gestures. In her slightly more mature fantasies about Jeff, they cuddled on the couch and later cuddled in bed after….wearing themselves out.

But in her all or nothing view of romance back then, Annie never just relaxed comfortably with someone – or saw silence as soothing instead of awkward or cowardly. It was actually very refreshing.

She still thought about how Britta and Troy made even more progress tonight. Given the much longer, epic buildup for Jeff and Annie, something still told her they should have done it first. Even after Jeff confessed some things, he was still technically staying at arm's length, and that didn't seem like a huge step forward on paper.

But then Jeff found Annie's hand on top of her leg and placed his hand over it.

Annie just glanced at him briefly without saying anything, trying to focus on the TV. Yet when she glanced again, he could see a growing smile on Jeff's face as he held her hand, then dared to put his right arm around her shoulder.

Of course when Jeff noticed Annie looking, he tried to make his expression neutral, like he tried with Britta earlier. However, after Annie turned away for a few moments, she looked over again and saw him smiling the smallest smile he could – which still wasn't enough to hide it.

At that moment, Annie didn't care how this was all Jeff could do. She didn't care about the long road still ahead, Jeff's remaining issues, her remaining doubts, or Britta and Troy somehow being further along than them. Right now, she had something she never got in all her time fawning over Troy, or over Jeff for most of the past few years.

She didn't feel alone. She didn't feel ignored or tossed aside, or incomplete for having such one-sided, childish feelings. No matter how it got to this point, what she didn't get and what still had to be done, Annie felt….loved.

Even if Jeff couldn't say it or show it in bigger ways yet, Annie felt – she now _knew_ – that someone valued and adored her the way she always wanted. Even if she had felt it with Troy someday, or with Jeff much earlier, she knew it would never have been like this.

The same would probably apply when Jeff touched her other bare places. But there'd be time to test that. For the first time in Annie's love life, or her life in general, it was finally just a question of when. Even if she didn't need mean, stupid plans that somehow worked anyway to speed it along after all.

**THE END**


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